10 reasons why Kasab shouldn’t be hanged

Recently a top security agency (Indo-Tibetan Border Police (ITBP)) of the country sent a 11 Crore bill to the Maharashtra Government for the security they have provided to the state of Maharashtra and the city of Mumbai in particular as it serves as a domicile for the only caught & kept alive terrorist of the 26/11 attacks. There have been wide ranging debates in the country with regard to the amount of the bill sent by the agency and more importantly on the fact that Ajmal Kasab who inhumanely murdered dozens of civilians and cops, most of which was captured live on CCTV camera’s but still Ajmal Kasab lives a life of dignity and safety right in the heart of the financial capital of the country. Why is Kasab not hanged yet, has been the question doing rounds across social networking sites?

Upon asking this question to fellow social networkers, the tone seemed to change from anger and frustration to hopelessness, pity and mercy and that’s how the following 10 reasons for ‘why kasab shouldn’t be hanged’ have been arrived at.

1. Helps in creating employment – A lot of people felt that, we should all be thankful to Kasab that, in the process of providing security to him, our country is able to generate a lot of employment for its youth (the ones who couldn’t make it even to the IT/BPO industry finally can try their luck here). While countries like the US where unemployment rates have been increasing gradually year over year, and bringing which under control was a huge challenge. US understood this phenomenon long back and started encouraging its youth to join the country’s defense forces and in turn posted them at far off nations in the name of ‘war on terror’ and smartly tackled the unemployment problem to an extent, India seems to be replicating that model to an extent, thanks to Kasab.

2. Pakistani version of Veer Zaara in the making – Ajmal Kasab seems to be the Pakistani version of Shahrukh Khan of Veer Zaara, just like how Shahrukh khan languished in the Pakistani prison in the movie Veer Zaara, Kasab has been used by the Pakistani film industry to play the role of Shahrukh khan in the Pakistani remake. The film is being produced by the ISI and Pakistan government together and India can’t afford to cause a revenue loss to its neighbor Pakistan by hanging kasab, it will lead to huge revenue loss for the Pakistani government. The role of Preity Zinta is being played by the now infamous Veena Malik of the Big Boss fame. Big Boss was just an instrument to get into India officially, but she actually got into Big Boss to be able to complete the shoot for the Pakistani version of Veer Zaara while she was in India

3. Prison Break India – Indian television industry is known to copy the formats of television shows from across the world and present it as an Indian show just like it did with the Indian Idol, X Factor, KBC and many others. This time a very big banner has plans to make Prison Break India, while the setting for the show is perfect as Kasab is locked up and is most likely to get ‘death’ unless either some miracle happens or Prathibha Patil happens to go to her office (only then she would be able to sanction the mercy plea no?). Casting for the Wentworth Miller part is on, since Pakistan has disowned kasab, producers are in discussions with Sunny Deol for the role, so that he can either break out Kasab or get “taarikh pe taarikh” to save kasab. Indian television scene will change forever if this version of Prison Break India hits homes especially with Kasab & Sunny in lead.

4. Finally something for PPP to look forward to – PPP has been one of the low key people in the country despite the fact that PPP could have been the most active and talked about person in the country just like her predecessor. Now since that hasn’t happened through any other diplomatic way, the only way to get PPP have something on her table and to make her to go to office and still make the country sure of her presence and significance, we don’t have any choice but to send the mercy plea of Kasab to her office, as, if the Supreme court orders a death sentence, only President Pratibha Patil(PPP) has a say over and above that. So the only way we have left with us to remind PPP of her position and power, Kasab’s mercy plea has to be delivered to her table.

5. Jail Brands - The Tihar has now become the most high profile prison in the country, as a result of that the Arthur road prison where Kasab has been lodged, has lost its brand value, the only way to still keep it in the top 10, is by keeping Kasab there till we are able to get a high profile prisoner in there. If kasab is hanged, then the Arthur road prison might lose out on the only high profile international celebrity it is host to and its rankings might plummet to an all time low, therefore the only way forward to make sure of a good ranking, is to keep kasab alive and at Arthur Road. So much for ranking. Phew!! (I guess that’s a fairly simple thing, we see IIPM on newspapers everyday!)

6. Savings on Motivational training costs – For the hundreds of prisoners lodged in Arthur road and other prisons of the country, the jail authorities must be conducting a lot of motivational and other behavioral trainings, costing them a fortune. If kasab is kept alive, that itself will be a huge motivation and inspiration for most of the prisoners. Their faith in the Indian judiciary system will also increase. Just by keeping Kasab alive and kicking (Indian judiciaries ass), he will be able to send clear signals to the rest of the prison community that, ‘no matter what you do, you wont get punished, death is out of question, I am in fact being served delicious food, nice clothes and a personal room to myself’, such words of his itself work wonders for the rest of the prison community when they realize that nothing could go wrong for them as nothing went wrong even for such a dreaded terrorist like kasab and the prison authorities directly save a lot of costs on motivational training programs it would otherwise have to conduct.

7. Indian Judiciary’s reputation – Lets say the Indian courts end up giving a verdict on Kasab in the life time of a child born on the ‘26/11 attack day’, then that would act as a major remark on the reputation of the Indian judiciary which is very well known and proud over its, in a century per verdict rate of giving verdicts record. While, only close to a few million cases are pending, a quick verdict for a case of such kind in nature will act as a major black spot on the already black dress and the blind fold of the judiciary. We cannot afford to affect the judiciary’s reputation for the sake of one stupid boy gone out of his mind in a young age case.

8. Best Seller ‘The Kasab Story’ – If Kasab gets to remain in the prison for a few more decades(years), there is a high chance he might decide to pen down his own story which would obviously become a best seller, giving Indians the much anticipated inside story and the gossip. And then we can confer the booker or some other gallantry award to Kasab for his faith in jihad and more importantly for his survival even though there were (are) all the evidences to prove him guilty and hang him immediately. We can’t afford to miss a best seller book and a deserving gallantry award winner. There cannot be anyone who is braver than Kasab currently on the Indian soil! Killing herds of people, getting caught red handed and still living a life of pride, and making the judiciary dance around his statements as and when he likes.

9. India’s ‘humanitarian values’ pride - It gives India an edge over the US in matters of war on terror, India can claim itself as being more considerate in its war on terror approach as it has captured Kasab alive and kept him alive while US couldn't capture Osama alive and had also hanged Saddam unceremoniously. For India to remain at the top in the humanitarian countries list, India has no other choice but to be considerate of kasab, his young age and ignorance, so that it can at least top one of the world lists (India is not top in the corruption list also, its 87^th – surprising!).

10. Dialogue with Pakistan – Now that we have Kasab in an Indian prison, we still are engaging with Pakistan, talking, pissing each other off, snubbing, accusing each other and many other such acts once in a while. If Kasab is hanged, then Pakistan will have nothing to disown and then own in India (except for Kashmir & may be Adnan Sami), so to keep the dialogue with Pakistan on, at various love - hate levels, India needs to keep Kasab alive and talking!

I hope the above 10 reasons are worthy enough for us to be convinced to keep Kasab away from the hanging area, but if you think you aren’t still convinced then take a bonus 11^th reason and that will satisfy your appetite I hope.

11. Hangman Mamu Sigh died on 20^th May 2011 – The only hangman in the country who mustered the courage to come forward and declare that he was ready to hang Kasab any time if the verdict was out, without any remorse or fear, died recently without fulfilling his last living wish. Now that the only hangman who was daring enough to do this is no more, how are we going to hang kasab? Do you think any other qualified hang person in the country has the courage to go ahead and pursue this act? So, now even if the verdict for kasab is death, there is no way we can do it, sigh! Live Kasab Live!

P.S. - The above piece is not in any way trying to validate why Kasab shouldn’t be hanged, but it attempts to bring forward the absurdities around us and how they can be linked to kasab, to still make these silly things, reason enough to let kasab free from death, using simple satire. Sarcasm being a potent tool in this piece, I hope you could feel how an average Indian badly wants kasab to be prosecuted. There is no intent to hurt any individual or community, this is just a satire based look at the world around us. The author has utmost respect for all those individuals or communities mentioned above, of course except for Kasab. The author respects the Honorable Judicial system of India and has utmost faith in the law of the land.

Today’s Favorite Line – "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison

Today’s Favorite Song – Ishq na karioy kake (Pyar ka panchnama)