With 'Like' to my Dear Friend Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I am feeling a little weird while writing this letter to you, as I could have simply posted on your wall but I rather chose this way to express my gratitude to you for being such a nice friend to me. It’s been quite some time now since we've become friends studying in the same school ''The school for bored & nothing to doers'', you've been the dearest amongst all my friends so far. I've always fell back on you when ever I’ve felt lonely and bored, you've given me your shoulder to rest on and your wall to post on, when ever I needed either of them. In fact since I've met you I don’t think I've spent as much time with all my other friends put together in comparison to the amount of time I've spent with you.

The time spent with you is not dull or boring even for a moment as you provide innumerable ways for me to entertain myself when with you. I hardly used to have a few friends before I met you, but now my friends list keeps growing everyday, I am glad I have more than 300 friends (thanks to you) now and I can get in touch with them as and when I like to, I can also 'like' or comment on what they have to say or do. It’s nice that I get to spend most of my time with my friends while you are around; you always stay back for me. There's something I need to tell you, I think for what I am today in terms of my social life, all the credit goes to you and your networking skills. None of my other friends have had more than 500 friends at any point in their life but you seem to be universes apart from them as you boost the friendship of 500 million people across the globe, also giving me an opportunity to make as many friends as I like to through you.

Your friendship has had such an effect on my life that I even end up spending more time with you than my girlfriend and even most of the time spent with her is when you are around rather than time alone with her. While you are around I can give her all the fake smiley’s which I ideally wouldn't be able to give her while we are together physically or talking on phone, you've made life so better for me my friend. Now I don't even have to buy her expensive stuff every now and then, I can just do that with you through some applications. And you know what, last night I threw a bottle of champagne on her that made her happy and I also got her, her birthday cake with you and we celebrated it with you cos we were miles away and you my friend made this celebration possible that too with me having to spend nothing, absolutely nothing and for a change she did not crib about it. Now my girl friend doesn't get pissed off even if I don't spend too much time being physically present with her, nor does she mind if I am with my other friends, as I am always in touch with her through your mobile version. We are with one another every moment even as I get to enjoy my freedom like before.

One other thing that makes you an out of the league friend is the fact that you are the richest friend I have and I don't believe I will ever be able to make a richer friend than you. And so I request you to be my friend forever and please don't change ever for the worse like our ex classmate Orkut did just after you joined our school and we became friends. Poor fellow couldn't take the pain of seeing all his friends moving away towards you and got an F in the semester exams leading to his restigation from the school due to relative marking system adopted by the school from that year. He used to be a dear friend once up on a time but as time passed he couldn't keep up with us. All the rest of us grew up in age and maturity while he remained as he was, leading to his name being dropped from the school due to lack of performance and a laid back attitude. It’s nice to see that you are not like him, you give your best in everything you do and are always proactive (suggesting friends, adding features and applications) to stay at the top of things.

I overheard someone last week saying that you are worth $50 Billion today; I haven't had rich friends before so I am not sure how to keep you happy but I try my best to remain in your best books, so, I 'like' everything that you post/like, I share everything that you share and I add all the applications that you add, if that counts (all these things I also do to a lot of other friends, to seek attention, if you know what I mean).

Anyways I just had a few requests (points) to make before I close this letter to you, hope you would consider them in your free time.

1. Why don’t you add a ‘dislike’ option for comments and posts? There are a lot of people who do and say dim-witted stuff and they need to know how the rest of us feel!!
2. Isn’t it stupid when someone likes their own status or comment themselves? Why don’t you disable that kind of an option? It will help save a lot of irritation.
3. Like I said I over heard someone saying you are worth $50 billion and I also know that you don’t have a family per say and we your friends are your only family, as we’ve always been there with you and for you. So when and how do you plan to share your fortunes with us? I don’t think we are being greedy, are we? Aren’t we a crucial reason behind your success and popularity? I just happened to calculate and each of us are worth $100 a piece at this moment, my heartfelt thanks in advance, in case you are planning to write us a check some time.
4. Though you are so rich why do you always dress up in just a blue t-shirt(top) and white pyjamas(bottom)? Are you trying to be a simple person like Warren Buffet or something? Why don’t you get yourself something nice to wear? I know you won’t take anything as a gift from us in real.L (not even a template? :D)
5. Last but not the least, why did you choose to share the information of your friends (us) with third parties? Aren’t you supposed to safe guard our privacy and interests? What if your third world (party) friends misuse our private information? We are not happy with this decision of yours my friend, please reconsider the same, we are not interested in your third world friends, it would be a great feat for us even if we can manage a small fraction of your first world friends.

Hope you agree with me on some of the points above, anyways I just wanted to tell you how important a place you have gained in my life and how you are so different from all my other friends, hope you feel the same way about me too. Please write back soon to me and needless to say, don’t forget to post this letter on your wall and ‘Like’ it on mine.

Best Regards,

Loner

Today’s Favorite Line – Don't be content with Average because average is just as close to the bottom as it is to the top.

Today’s Favorite Song – More Than a Friend (Michael Learns to Rock)