The MBA curse

How would it feel if an MBA which was supposed to make the career prospects of an individual better and boost his esteem becomes a curse for him while trying to move ahead in life post the MBA? It is the last thing one would expect out of an MBA. It’s about how the fact that the person being an MBA (or for that matter a post graduate) is used against him in various scenarios, haunting him every now and then. The MBA that was supposed to act like engine oil making the ride easy for a vehicle, at times seems to work like a nail hit punctured tyre making the ride a lot tougher due to the egoistic and other issues around (the ego & other issues acting as a nail).

The MBA in itself is not the curse, but the way a lot of people treat the ones with an MBA starts making the MBA look like the curse. The expectations and the treatment of an MBA vary widely from place to place and person to person depending on what each ones egoistic value is.

Some commonly known ways/situations in which an MBA pays a price for his keen desire to grow fast in life are listed below:- (The first statement in each set is the kind of crap we have to hear and the next one in italics is my response to it)

What? You wanna do business? Then why did you do an MBA? You are supposed to/ made to work, not own! You were trained to be a manager not a businessman/ entrepreneur.

(Now, what the heck!? MBA is just an additional qualification to learn a few things to understand how businesses run and the allied stuff, it certainly isn't insane for an MBA to dream running his own show. Why restrict his domain just to a JOB?)

What? You don't have a job? No one has taken you yet? What's the use of your MBA? 

(Excuse me, if you may please! MBA's don't fall under the NREGA scheme and yet again it’s an educational qualification not a 'make me your slave' certification.)

You can make 20-25K/month anyhow; you said you are an MBA right? Why bother?

(20-25K your ass!! Those 'I don't know anything, so I shall write codes' engineers make that much today, I deserve better don't you think? At least cos I've spent a fortune to get the additional education)

So, now that you've started working, I think you'll tell me what your package is? What? Its not even 25Lakhs?! Then what’s the use of having spent 2 years & close to a million for that god damn degree?

(First of all, for the love of god, try to understand that the article you read in the newspaper about some geek getting placed at an 8 digit package is only about THAT geek, and not about the entire MBA universe. Another point you must understand is the fact that, the geeks who are getting placed at an extravagant package like the one you expected me to, stop living the moment they get placed and start working, and they stop only after they've either been fired(by themselves or by the employer) or have committed suicide due to depression or fatigue. I haven’t planned for any of those so far.)  

 

MBA - Sir, why is my package less than half of the CA, sitting right next to my cubicle while we do the same work & have the same profile?  We also joined together, remember?

BOSS - You see, the CA brings a lot of value to the table, he is a CA & you are just an mba after all!!!

(Holy Crap!! For the last 6 months, I have been teaching him, how to use excel sheet, how to make a PPT and in fact at times how to operate on the computer. And guess what, all the reports that he has sent to you so far have major inputs from me! And he brings more value to the table? Which one? If I stop helping him from tomorrow you'll realize our values, you bitch.)

You MBA's are very bookish, come out of your case study mode buddy, look at the real picture. Stop acting like a student and understand the problem the right way.

(Weren’t you the one who asked a zillion definitions and formulae during my interview while the other panelists were talking about practical stuff?! You forgot how difficult you made my life for that half hour, you loser! And by the way, you were the one who asked me to stick to the basics and take learning’s out of what I learnt during my MBA in the last meeting! Didn’t know that was being bookish!! And just to remind you, you are yourself a visiting faculty at a bschool appreciating the case study mode of looking at the problem always & recommended us to be the change agents in this aspect.)

What do you think should be done about the inflation in terms of the key policy rates? What? You don’t know for sure? Aren’t you an MBA?

(First of all, I am no Montek Singh Ahuwalia or Pranab Mukherji, how am I expected to know better when there are experts in their teams who are hardly able to do anything about it. Secondly I am an MBA, which does not mean, I should be a master of everything, spare me! I told you what ever I knew.)

The MBA is being used as a double edged sword against people like me who want to make it big ( I am not too sure how to define big) in life, at least in terms of doing something phenomenal if not anything else at least. Our knowledge is used to show us, how we can be used as cheap labor and our ambitions are used to take advantage of our financial compulsions. Our qualification is at times used as a tool to decide our fate and more so against our capabilities and intelligence. Every time we try to make a point or a contribution in our own way, we are being shot down by our artillery (The MBA) as a weapon against us, by either putting us too above in the league or throwing us deep down in the ocean to make us feel beaten. Can the world stop trying to beat us and instead understand our capabilities and ambitions instead of creating a counter productive environment like a capitalist state? I agree there are a lot of instances of a lot of MBA are doing better than they deserve, but does that mean that the complete herd is always better off? Lastly, my understanding says, most of us do an MBA for it to work as an insurance policy which could pay off like a long term investment does while it could secure us our careers and job prospects to an extent, so kindly stop cursing us using our own only real asset.

Today’s Favorite Line – "Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." - William James

Today’s Favorite Song – Flying without wings (West Life)